I want this over, but I know later I will wish I savoured the moment more. As you know, I woke up one day, and thought hmm, maybe I should own a home again. I made a call, stressing the fact I was 'just looking',, you know, can't do any harm to see what the market is doing, what is out there, what my options may be in the future. From there, it has snowballed into an avalanche! It has only been, what,, 6 weeks or less since then? Once I get an idea, it is like blinders go on, and I don't always see the big picture. I only saw one place, and when I walked through the door, I just knew, ya know? I am like that, if I think "well, hmm, maybe, hmm, let me think about it" then I already know I don't want it. In one way, that is a good thing, less regrets that way, but,, when it comes to big things, it can be a scary trait to have. I knew I could afford it, I wouldn't have bothered even looking if I couldn't, cause I don't 'tease' myself with "oh, if only...." I don't think there is anything wrong with having goals to work towards, things to save for, but I also know I am very impatient. (going back to reading the back of the book first etc etc). I just prefer not to look if I can't touch,, lol. For being such a short time it seems like an eternity, limbo has set in. The papers are signed, the money has changed hands, the boxes are piling up, and I have to wait another 4 days to get the keys. I woke up thinking one week from today, I will own a home again. Ever since Saturday I have woke up the same way, this is the last weekend before I am a home owner,,,, you get the idea.
There has been the headache at the bank, the furniture shopping, the kitchen designing, and worse of all , the guilt. I have friends struggling right now. Their financial situation is not good, their work/kids not good, and here I am in this time of recession moving ahead while so many are falling behind. How am I suppose to enjoy that? My friends are happy for me, because they just are those kind of people, and that explains why they are my friends. If the roles were reversed I would be happy for them too. At the same time though, there is that little nagging guilt in the back of my head. That is why I wish this was over. Have you ever been at a Christmas thing when your cousin/sibling/friend gets the socks, and you get the 60" plasma screen tv? Ok, I haven't either, but the idea is the same. It is hard to enjoy the plus when the people you love are fighting the negative. Therefor, I just want to wake up please, and have things back to normal.