A mish mash, but a good one

Well, for a townhouse update,, it has gotten to be a bit of a joke. First they listed it as having a playhouse, AND a storage shed. Well, when I went to look, they had a playhouse, but they were using it AS a storage shed. I guess they covered both that way. No matter, I like the playhouse. Then,,,, they listed the washer, but not the dryer. Ok, no big deal, but when I went to sign papers.. it said dryer, not washer. We had to initial the change, and not a problem. Well,, yes a problem because then it was back to washer, not dryer. At this point we are back to dryer, not washer. I almost said screw it and take both, but on principal for doing this, I decided one way or another I am going to get one appliance here! I know I have to buy one, but still don't know for sure which one. I am a little peeved! With my luck I will go out and buy a dryer, and move in and end up with two. Can you say wash tub and drying rack?
We are having the house inspection on Tuesday, so fingers crossed that all goes well there, and we have started the process for insurance. We are yet so close and yet so far it seems.
On the other end of the mish-mash, "T" wants to move back with me. I love my daughter, she is a fantastic mom, but she works her butt off to raise my granddaughter. I on the other hand, am not working, so have the time to spend with "T". I am at a cross roads on this one. My daughter is someone I am proud of, she is soooo good with "T", and juggling work and motherhood. I feel guilty that "T" wants to come here, because I think she is seeing it as me being there for all the things her mom can't be. Of course, the reason her mom can't be is because she is working so hard to give her a good life. I will never turn away my daughter or granddaughter, but is it tough love to say no, stay home with your mom? Or am I giving her every opportunity to stay with me when I have the time to do the things she needs. I am not sure what the right choice is here. With her mom, she has to be dropped off in the morning at daycare before school, and picked up from daycare before her mom comes home. That is a fact of life for millions, including my daughter when she was young. Maybe it is guilt that I was working then that is eating at me now. On the other hand, my daughter now says her strong work ethic has come from my example. She now understands and admires what sacrifices I made when she was younger. Is it spoiling "T" to let her stay with me, or should we let her deal with the reality that so many people have to deal with. Will it make her stronger in the long run? As a grandma, I stay out of the relationship they have because a mother/daughter bonding is such a personal thing, my relationship with my mother is horrible, so therefor I have made sure my relationship with my daughter is a good one. I don't want to risk making the same mistakes my mother made with me and drag them into the next generation. That in turn doesn't mean my daughter/granddaughter will avoid the pitfalls I went through. Of course, they may become best friends too. I am at a crossroads here, I can't live my life for them, but I can't live my life without them. Hence, the mish-mash. Either way, "T" wins, she gets a mom who loves her and is willing to do anything to give her a great life, or she gets grandma, who is willing to do the same. But one has to be better for her..... the question is,, which one.....

BOOO YAAAAA!!!!!

HOLY CRAP! Well, after offer, counter offer, counter counter offer etc etc,,, THEY ACCEPTED! Oh ya baby!!!! Tomorrow the bank, just for final verification, then of course the house inspector, then lawyer crap/insurance crap,, then,, well,, BOOOYAAAA!

Counter offer, and I really like the counters!

Ok, panic is setting in. They rejected the offer, but have put in a counter offer. So of course, I met them in the middle with a counter-counter offer. Did I mention I loved loved loved the kitchen counters? Maybe they will just take an offer on the play house????

Hi-Ho Hi-Ho, it's off to buy a house I go.....

Never let it be said I am wishy-washy. I get a plan, and I run with it, no looking back. I woke up one day not to long ago, and thought, screw it, I want to own a home again. I happen to know one of my ex's ex's (make sense?) sells homes, so I looked her up and told her what I want, what I can afford, and what has she got? Today I viewed, I liked, and I offered. Now is the wait, will they accept, will they counter-offer, will they ask what kind of mental facility I escaped from? The waiting game begins and I hate waiting. I am the one who reads the back of the book first, remember? I am the one who looks up movie spoilers before watching, remember? What to do, what to do to pass the time. Fidget, clean my (rented) home, do some laundry, blog, fidget, check if the phone is still working, fidget.. oh the list goes on. If this goes through, I will have an extra bedroom to have as a room to myself. I have bookshelves to go in there, my computor, my little tv..... oh the possiblities. Somewhere to make my shadow boxes.
It is a townhouse, but it has a basement with a seperate laundry room down there. The basement is actually really nice, done up as a family room, so yayyyyy, somewhere for toys and mess to acumilate without care. The main floor is livingroom/diningroom/kitchen, so ya know, yaayyyy for that,, lol. Upstairs is 3 bedrooms, so one for meeeee, one for "T" and oh wait,, ANOTHER ONE FOR ME! Of course there is a bathroom in there somewhere, lol. The backyard is fenced off, with a deck, a tree, a patch of grass,, AND A PLAYHOUSE!! It has windows and a little itty bitty balcony all of its own! How coool is that! It is not huge by any means, a lot of rooms, but they are fairly small, but being a townhouse that is expected. Also, because it is a townhouse, the yard work is done for me, so that is a good thing, but I can put out my outdoor potted plants that I can look after without help.
I am soooooooo hyped. On the other hand, if for what ever reason this doesn't go through, the hunt is on, which is half the fun. I needed a goal, and now I have one. Yayyyyyy!!!!

It's "T" Time!!!

Yay,, I get to be a grandma this weekend! I took the ferry to the island on Wednesday night, then went on "T"'s field trip on Thursday, then we caught the ferry back that night. We went to her old school here Friday so she could see all her friends/teachers, and she has pretty much been playing with her neighborhood buddies ever since. So ya, I have been really happy to have her here, I just have to remind her that hey,, I AM HERE TOO,, lol. We will travel back tomorrow, and I may or may not stay for awhile.
If I am not having a good day pain wise, I will return right away, when I feel like crap I like to be home, and the ferry ride sometimes makes things worse. It takes 2 hours to go over, and it is not the most comfortable ride, depending on which boat you end up on. Lately I have been trying to time it to be on the newest one, they have tv's on there, which can be a nice time waster. It is kinda funny on some trips, you get tourists who have never been to the island, and listening to them talking about the beautiful scenery, oh look,, whales!!,, oh look,, a lighthouse!!,, oh look,, a frieghter!! I have been taking the ferry since I was born pretty much, when I lived on the mainland as a child, my parents took us over throughout the summer, and our school field trips included at least one trip a year. Then I moved there and did just as many trips back to the mainland, and now of course I am on the mainland but constantly going back and forth. I don't even look out the windows any more, but then,. as I said, you hear a tourist talking. It amazes me how much I can take for granted, saddens me a bit actually. It is beautiful scenery, I do love whales, I have wondered on more than one occasion what it would be like to live on that little solitary island with the little house on it, and of course the lighthouse. It sometimes takes a complete stranger to remind me I guess. One of the best ones was a couple from Arizona, they pretty much had a map, stuck a pin in it, and the island got poked. They had NEVER seen the ocean, they kept going outside, laughing their asses off at how their hair looked from getting blasted in the wind, taking in the smells/sights/sounds of the ocean, acting like teenagers. The thing is, they had to be in their eighties! They talked to everyone they could about places to go, where to eat, where to stay, the excitement they had was contagious as people who could overhear the conversations they had with others would jump right in and start about a place they had stayed so many years ago, or a place they ate at just last week, then someone else would add to that, etc etc. It was one of the best trips I had, even though I had lived there for 17 years, I was learning as much as the couple was!
Anyways, I am off to enjoy some "T" time, have a great weekend!

A pain in the neck vs a Pain in the Ass

Well, I am getting fed up. Sorry for the self indulgance, but that is what a blog is for,, right?
It has been over 3 years since the car accident, and yet I am still litterally feeling the pain in the neck. I have dreams, I have plans, I have a life waiting to be lived, but NOOOOO,, days like today happen and snap me back to reality. One goal I have is to gain some weight, I go to the gym trying to build muscle, I eat protiens and carbs in a healthy balance, I make sure my iron levels, vitamins, fiber etc meet the the daily requirments. I walk, I drink tons of water, and yet, my body defies me. WHY?? Today I woke up with neck pain, and now it has traveled down my right arm. I am used to pain, I live with it every day, but there are days (insert TODAY) that it overwhelms me. I hate pain killers, they screw with my head and I don't like that. I hate feeling groggy. I met with a ICBC lawyer one day (insurance in my province) and she couldn't understand why I didn't like painkillers. Well, killing pain is good, but,,, to me, pain is a good indication you shouldn't do something. If you are doped up on painkillers, isnt that a bad thing? You will not know your body is telling you NOT to do something that is damaging you. I think pain is a good way of knowing that your body part has reached it's limit. I don't mean like a headache, yes a Tylonol is good then, but really, if you have a broken limb, and you buff the pain, then how do you know that reaching for that plate is actually doing more damage? "Oh, it doesn't hurt" as you wrench your arm even further out of joint can't be a good thing. I need something to numb the pain but still tell my brain to stop when I am harming myself. I hate drugs, even smoking pot is useless (although I haven't done it in over 20 years, I just know). As I said, this post is very self indulgent, but really I am looking suggestions. I go to the doctors here, and they want to give me drugs that will totally wipe me out, and my doctor that I have had for 20 years, and I love and trust, is on the island, so that is a pain in the butt for me to see. (now ya get the pain in the neck vs pain in the butt reference,, lol). The last time I took a perscription from another doctor, I was hilucinating that they were killing baby's with hammers, so ya, I don't want to go there again! Has anyone out there ever found something that will help with pain, but not screw up the brain? I want to go numb, but not dumb! Feel no pain, but not go insane? Wow, how many rymes can I do,,,, at least two,, hahahaha! Thanks for any feed back on the subject, and I promise to be much happier on my next post, cause your the most! (ok, the last one was lame,, sorry,,lol)

Tag your it!

So, I was tagged by http://opiningonline.com/ also known as Donna B.

6 Unimportant Things About Me.

Well, I thought everything about ME was important, but,, some must beg to differ.

1) I wear alot alot alot of black.
2)I love socks, they give my feet hugs all day long!
3)I hate feet, don't want to see them, touch them, think about them, blog about them,, oh crap I just did!
4)I love coffee, but hate hate hate making it. My coffee pot drips when I pour :(
5)I want menopause to kick in, ANY TIME,, I am always cold, so a good hot flash would be great!
6)I have never tagged or been tagged (blog wise I mean) so wish me luck!

A new plan, an old idea...

Never one to go small, I have decided to get myself out of limbo, I am going to go shopping. Some shop for shoes, some shop for lipstick, I am shopping for a house! When I was married, we owned a home, it was great! Since the breakup of my marriage, I have rented, which is not so great. I like the place I am in, but I am really paying someone elses morgage.
One of my ex's ex's, if that made sense, is in real estate, so I called her up and we are on the hunt. I really shouldn't say house though, I am more in line for a townhouse/condo. For one thing, a house is more expensive, and I don't think I could do the upkeep. Townhouses have strata fees, which suck, but at least the main/heavy duty yard work etc is covered. I just want somewhere with a small yard or patio that I can still have my planters, bbq etc and have some privacy. I have seen a few listings, nothing really has jumped out at me yet, but when I find the right one, I will be ready! I am in no rush to move, so the pressure is off, but I love looking. I love those shows where people are house hunting, I yell at the tv,, PICK THAT ONE!! I like seeing the befores and afters, how they make it there own. I used to rent a townhouse, and all the units were identical. It fascinated me how you could go into someone elses, and even though the layout was the same, they could make it look like a completely different house just by moving furniture in a different way than I had. I will keep you posted how the hunt is going.
As for the old idea, I am going to make shadow boxes. I have 3 that I have bought, all wine related, and they are pretty awesome. I have alot of Vancouver Canuck 'stuff', some of which is displayed. Then there are ticket stubs from games, programs etc, that I keep but really don't look good on a book shelf. I think they will look good in a shadow box though. I have never made one, but look forward to the challenge. I am going to make one dedicated to Bobby Orr as well, he is my favourite all time player, he is the one I remember most from my childhood, and have some hockey cards etc with him. I have a signed stick and a large framed picture, so I will make a small shadow box to add to the collection, I am pretty excited to have a project looming before me! I will post pictures when I am done.
Now I am off for more coffee, as that is number one on my daily 'to do' list!

Filling the Void,, yaaaayyy!

First of, I need to clarify a couple of things from yesterday. After I read my post again this morning, I realized it came across as more of a downer than I intended.
I do have two arms connected to my body, but after a car accident, I lost the use of my right shoulder. This had a domino effect that makes the use of my right arm very difficult, if not impossible at times. It also effects my neck, causing very painful muscle spasms. I had surgery last summer, but unfortunatly it didn't fix it. At some point I will have injections in my neck to help the muscles stop spasming, just waiting for all the referals/paperwork to go through. One of the options for injections is Botox! Hmmm,, can they slide the needle a little more to the face by accident..lol...
Now back to the void, I think yesterday was just a step towards dealing with "T" going home. I have always been an active mom/grandma. With my move to the mainland that has dwindled due to distance/ferry travel etc. I still travel back and forth as much as possible, and they do come here, but with "T" living here for the last 6 months, I felt like I had a purpose again that I had been missing so much. Yesterday just hit home harder because of the kids going back to school.
Last night, I decided to concentrate on me. I have a calender, and since I love love love to plan, I am going to fill it with goals! I have promised my granddaughter to come over for all her field trips, and any Pro-D days at school I will be there so my daughter doesn't have to miss work. Those days will be filled in first of course! After that, I will plan my gym days and physiotherapy days. From there I will have one day a week that I meet up with a friend for a lunch or dinner or movie date.
Once a week I will pick a library day, one of my favourite places with a coffee shop and fireplace.
I will pick one craft a month to do. I had suggestions for sewing etc, which yes, I know how to do, but my arm can only do so much, and I tend to avoid out of frustration. I hate to start something and then have to walk away because my arm doth protest to much. I realized that the only person putting a dead line on anything is me, so even if I only do 10 minutes at a stretch, I won't beat myself up about it.
Of course, on top of all this, I have my day to day life to live. My significant other works shift work, so we spend odd hours together sometimes, but that just adds to the fun.
I don't need life planned down to the last minute, but I think my calender will put some structure back in it, and that is what I need right now. When you work, you know ahead of time you will be getting up, going to work, having some form of routine. Now that I am not taking "T" to school, my routine is gone. I want some of it back! I am taking it back! I am taking ME BACK!
I AM FILLING MY VOID!! Ok, now to get some more coffee, I think that should be the first thing on my calender every day,, lol..!

Avoiding the Void

I am in limbo! I am going through empty nest syndrome now that "T" has returned to her mom. School has started again, and I could hear the kids outside heading back. I had nobody to wake up, shove in the shower, feed, make lunch for, and trudge out into the slush with. Who knew I would miss it so much? I need a project, but am dumbfounded as to what to do. Years ago, pre-accident, I worked. When I had a day off, I enjoyed it. Now every day is a day off, and you can't really enjoy a day off unless you have earned it. I have been told by two doctors I won't be able to work again, which sucks. Different if you win the lottery and quit work, and you can do what you want and enjoy life. I love golf, I love tennis, but I can't do either one. Back in the day, when I needed a change, I would rearrange my furniture, I can't do that now. I have friends, I have family, but I don't have me. Well, not the me I want,, lol. I have thought of volunteering, but sometimes my right side completely locks up, which is really embarrassing when other people are around. At least at home I can deal with it. I have thought of finding a job where I can work from home, on my own time/shedule, but so far have come up with nothing. I love crafts, but I don't have the talent to make things to sell. It isn't even that money is the issue, just the purpose of contributing to something, self satisfaction of completing something.
As soon as the snow/slush clears up, I will be going back to the gym. Right now the side streets are to disgusting for me to try to drive on, one arm doesn't make for the best reflexes in this weather. I love the gym, I am trying to gain some weight, build some muscle, and I used to live right across the street from it. That was awesome, but now I am across town, so not so convenient.
I am off to search the net for some 'to do' ideas, wish me luck!

OOOPS, I Missed it Again!

I snored my way through New Years,, hmmmph! I had plans, two friends were coming over. One of them ended up with stomach flu, and decided she would rather use her toilet every 5 minutes than mine. I admit when I am sick, I like my own bathroom over someone elses, better reading material,,lol. The other friend ended up also sick, but she was actually in the hospital, so we are talkin bedpans here! Ya,, ummm, I don't happen to have any of those, so that was a bit of a no brainer! In the long run (or in some case,, the runs,, hehe) it turned out for the best because I ended up feeling like crap too. I made it until 11pm, watched celebrations around the world, but missed my own. I just couldn't stay awake. This morning there is an unopened bottle of champagne on the counter. Some where around here are some juice boxes left over from "T", soooo, I don't know if it is politcally correct to crack a juice box into a champagne glass,, hehe, but I just may do it. I am not a huge orange juice fan, but mixed with some champagne it might make it more bearable, and for a few minutes I will feel rich and indulgent. Then again, I will feel the guilt of using "T"'s juice to fuel grandma's drinking habits,, soooo,, oh what the heck eh?