Well, for a townhouse update,, it has gotten to be a bit of a joke. First they listed it as having a playhouse, AND a storage shed. Well, when I went to look, they had a playhouse, but they were using it AS a storage shed. I guess they covered both that way. No matter, I like the playhouse. Then,,,, they listed the washer, but not the dryer. Ok, no big deal, but when I went to sign papers.. it said dryer, not washer. We had to initial the change, and not a problem. Well,, yes a problem because then it was back to washer, not dryer. At this point we are back to dryer, not washer. I almost said screw it and take both, but on principal for doing this, I decided one way or another I am going to get one appliance here! I know I have to buy one, but still don't know for sure which one. I am a little peeved! With my luck I will go out and buy a dryer, and move in and end up with two. Can you say wash tub and drying rack?
We are having the house inspection on Tuesday, so fingers crossed that all goes well there, and we have started the process for insurance. We are yet so close and yet so far it seems.
On the other end of the mish-mash, "T" wants to move back with me. I love my daughter, she is a fantastic mom, but she works her butt off to raise my granddaughter. I on the other hand, am not working, so have the time to spend with "T". I am at a cross roads on this one. My daughter is someone I am proud of, she is soooo good with "T", and juggling work and motherhood. I feel guilty that "T" wants to come here, because I think she is seeing it as me being there for all the things her mom can't be. Of course, the reason her mom can't be is because she is working so hard to give her a good life. I will never turn away my daughter or granddaughter, but is it tough love to say no, stay home with your mom? Or am I giving her every opportunity to stay with me when I have the time to do the things she needs. I am not sure what the right choice is here. With her mom, she has to be dropped off in the morning at daycare before school, and picked up from daycare before her mom comes home. That is a fact of life for millions, including my daughter when she was young. Maybe it is guilt that I was working then that is eating at me now. On the other hand, my daughter now says her strong work ethic has come from my example. She now understands and admires what sacrifices I made when she was younger. Is it spoiling "T" to let her stay with me, or should we let her deal with the reality that so many people have to deal with. Will it make her stronger in the long run? As a grandma, I stay out of the relationship they have because a mother/daughter bonding is such a personal thing, my relationship with my mother is horrible, so therefor I have made sure my relationship with my daughter is a good one. I don't want to risk making the same mistakes my mother made with me and drag them into the next generation. That in turn doesn't mean my daughter/granddaughter will avoid the pitfalls I went through. Of course, they may become best friends too. I am at a crossroads here, I can't live my life for them, but I can't live my life without them. Hence, the mish-mash. Either way, "T" wins, she gets a mom who loves her and is willing to do anything to give her a great life, or she gets grandma, who is willing to do the same. But one has to be better for her..... the question is,, which one.....
The excitement of almost spring…
6 years ago
3 comments:
Many congrats on your new home!:-) Washer or dryer, you still only need to buy one... I think I may sell whichever one comes with the townhouse and get a new matching set - then you get to pick what style, color, etc and you know that they are new and will last.
As far as T goes... I am raising my grandson. He is 10 now and I got him at the age of 18 mos. His mom travels a lot. She talks to him on the phone and visits often, but he has the stability of his own bed, regular hours and regular meal times. I agree with your thoughts that T will learn so much more with her mom, as your daughter did with you. You are a great mom and grandma to realize this. I am sure that you could have T any time depending on the situation. And then, as you say, T will have the best of both worlds.
My relationship with my mom sucks and I cut her out a few yrs ago. But I will do whatever it takes to maintain a great relationship with all 3 of my kids... 2 are grown and living on their own now.
You sound as though you are moving in such a great direction with your life! :-)
PS- I will post new pics of my growing-like-weed puppy soon. She is doing fine and is almost house broken - yippee!
I didn't realize it was so difficult to distinguish between a washer and a dryer, or a playhouse and a shed. I kinda feel bad for the current owners:)
As far as "T" goes, have you talked to your daughter about this? I think that should be your first step. See what she thinks about the situation.
Sending you lots of good thoughts!
My opinion on this is that your daughter should be the one to make the decisions for her child. You may have more time to spend with her, but she may need what her mother has to give her more. She can learn a lot about life and the realities of it by living with a mother who loves her enough to work long hours. And, if you are spending all your time with her, she eventually misses out on having a grandmother.
Post a Comment